Yes, I’m talking about you.
We are talking about you being more satisfied with your work right? We’re talking about you being better at what you do and accomplishing more and getting more of the stuff you want and less of the stuff you don’t want in your career right?
Perhaps I should have mentioned this earlier. There is one little essential detail to the whole equation. You have to stop that annoying habit of whining about stuff. How do I know you’re a whiner? Because, for the most part, we’re all whiners. We all do it. Sure there are different degrees of whiners. Some folks are world class, champion whiners and some folks are merely amateur whiners who only dabble in the complaining arts on the side.
I’m looking out for you here when I say this, really. It’s time to stop. Why, you ask, should you give up your beloved complaining? Well, there are a whole bunch for reasons. Here’s the big one. You’re never going to reach your real potential as long as you’re stuck in the destructive habit of whining about stuff. It puts you in the totally wrong mindset.
Here are a few of the reasons you need to put a pacifier in it.
It takes away your power
This should be the one and only reason you need to stop complaining about stuff. When you whine and complain you deny responsibility for creating your own life. You say to yourself and the world, “Look at this thing I have no power to influence! Look what it’s doing to my life and others.” Whining about something is the white flag of surrender. It’s our way of announcing to the world that others are creating our lives and not us.
When we decide to take responsibility for our own lives and our own destiny we stop blaming others for our circumstances. We stop playing the role of life critic, running around pointing out all the flaws in other peoples systems. And we stop wasting our time whining about the little challenges that crop up in our lives. People who live confidently and in control have no need to whine about people or things.
It draws the wrong people to you
People who are on a path of success seek out others who are confident and positive. We draw people to us who are making good things happen. Our success is self perpetuating because we attract more of it to us. We also reject people who waste to much time and energy wallowing in negativity.
When you complain you draw the opposite to you. You attract other people who spend time complaining and whining. They will like you because you validate all of their worthless actions. They need you to agree with them … that they truly are powerless, so they can feel good about their chosen complaints and ineffectiveness. People who like to complain like to spend time validating other peoples complaints as well. They make each other feel insightful. By feeling insightful they never have to face the fact that their complaining never accomplishes anything.
Have you ever seen anyone whine and complain for just a little while and then say, “OK, now that we have that on the table lets get to work making it better!” No. You’ve never seen that because complaining is self perpetuating. Since whining about stuff never accomplishes anything, when we come to the end of our whine the thing we are whining about is still there. The only options are to whine about it some more or find something else to whine about as well.
It’s also habit forming. Once we get into the rut of believing that talking endlessly about things we don’t like is somehow cathartic we want to do it more and more. It doesn’t require much energy and it’s a way of bonding with our fellow whiners. To those who don’t want to face the cold truth about how ineffective their lives are, whining is like an addiction.
Some folks in EMS have created whole blogs just to feed their complaint addiction. They name them catchy titles like why do I do this crummy emt job dot blogspot dot com. (Not a real site.) And the whiner addicts can’t get enough.
No really, it is. You may think that your partner, who keeps bobbing her head up and down in tacit agreement while she buries her nose farther in her Michael Sparks book, is actually appreciative of your keen insights into all that is really wrong with the world but in truth she’d like you to be quiet. The really sad part is coming up and it’s not going to be as emotionally wrenching if you’re still droning on about the overtime schedule.
It wastes your productivity
It’s amazing how much more productive you can be when you consciously decide to stop complaining about stuff and just work on making your life better. When you are on the path of success, you tend to stay focused on activities that you enjoy, or things that improve who you are and what you do.
When you’re inspired you’d much prefer to have a great conversation with a coworker or catch up on some phone calls to friends or read a good book or play with some equipment in the rig or study your protocols or learn more about that last patient’s funky heart condition. (Did she say Takasubo? What the heck is that?) In truth, you’d rather do anything other than sit around mindlessly complaining about stuff.
Successful people hate spending time on stuff that doesn’t serve the purpose of enjoyment or improvement. They just don’t. And you shouldn’t either. So make the commitment with me. No more whining. Agreed?